When my son Santino was first born, I thought a lot about what values I wanted to pass on to him. I did most of this reflecting in the shower, otherwise known as the only place I was ever alone. In one such session, the word independence came into my mind, and my immediate thought was, "Well, that doesn't exist!" Trust in oneself, yes. Individuality, yes. Faith in an internal source of wisdom and guidance, absolutely. But independence, no. If the act of birth shows anything, it is that none of us are independent from each other, but we are born into and through interdependence, and we don't survive without one another.

Maybe you have felt this too as you shelter at home. Missing each other only amplifies the truth of this connection; not just that relationship is a source of joy but that it is happening, always. The web of interconnection from our house to our neighbors and beyond is lit up by this virus. So why is this connection not bringing us peace? Because it is mixed with an anxiety which is just as lit up for many of us.

My own heart was sparked when I heard the same sentiment toward interdependence beautifully explored by Benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast on a recent episode of On Being, the core of which was focused on grateful living. After laughing at the concept of independence, Steindl-Rast goes on to address anxiety as a very human experience, beginning with birth. "It’s really a life-and-death struggle for both the mother and the child. And that is the original, the prototype, of anxiety. At that time, we do it fearlessly, because fear is the resistance against this anxiety. If you go with it, it brings you into birth." Steindl-Rast urges us to allow our anxiety, but not to fear, which is resisting that very reasonable human experience, resisting life itself. He goes on to say allowing this response:

"...can teach us, and that can give us courage, also, now that we think about it, in looking forward and saying: Yes, this is a tight spot. It’s about as tight spot as the world has ever been in, or at least humankind. But if we go with it — and that will be grateful living — if we go with it, it will be a new birth. And that is trust in life."

So this is our work now. How do we allow? Allow our emotions to come and go, and teach us more about our inner life. Allow ourselves to feel life in all it's fullness, even in the narrow places. Allow our waking up to interdependence to actually change us, to reshape a new way of living, a new way of being. This is possible. This could be the opportunity we've been waiting for.

We can take care of each other. We can take care of ourselves. We can feed our community, our spirit, and our resilience. Please reach out, I'm here.

You can hear the conversation with David Steindl-Rast in full here.